Some outside adventures have all the pizazz – the photos are inspiring enough to make even the most seasoned couch potato consider going outside with their kids. Don’t get me wrong, we do love the big adventures, the hikes that last a full day where the kids come home spent and full of mountain air, their packs filled with treasures and my camera reel filled with photos. But my favorite of our outside adventures is the simplest one; our after-dinner walk. Now when I say simple, I want to be clear that starting this nightly ritual was not exactly simple – getting dinner on the table early enough before getting ‘geared up’ for the weather took some adjusting in those first weeks. In the first couple months there was plenty of complaining from our 5 year old, and while two months of complaints may seem like a lot to sign on for in the beginning, I cannot begin to describe how significantly this nightly ritual has changed our lives, and has shifted our mindset surrounding the dreaded after-dinner bedtime routine.
Since we have started nightly strolls, our bedtime routine is smoother, we are all mentally in a better headspace, and there has been a significant reduction in tears and yelling for all. This mental calm going into the final part of our day has had different positive effects for all of us – as the primary driver of bedtime, being able to be calm, present and happy to be with my kids during this previously dreaded period has been the greatest gift. Even after a full day with them, I am now able to fully lean in to these final interactions and it has shifted the relationships with everyone in my family. And while this sense of calm has certainly provided benefits at bedtime for me, it has been a game changer for my 5 year old son, who now moves through our routine much more willingly and with fewer tantrums, and also falls asleep faster once tucked in.
Besides the mental calm that we experience after the walks, there have been several unexpected benefits, one notable one being that my 5 year old has started to decide for himself, based on the weather, what is appropriate attire to wear in order to be outside for 30 minutes. For those of you who understand the horror of trying to convince your child to wear the layers required to keep warm outside for any length of time, this is a significant benefit. Every night my son steps out the front door, stays out for a couple of minutes and then comes back in and announces which layers he will be dressing in for the night. We sometimes offer suggestions if we think he is not dressed for the weather, but always let him make the final choice. After a couple walks where he was dressed too lightly, despite our warnings, he quickly has learned this skill which is essential in the Mountain West.
Secondly the nightly walk has given my child a fuller understanding of the seasons and nature – every day we walk one of two routes and watch the changes in the landscape. He notices when hoards of pinecones are suddenly sprawled across the boulevard after an especially windy day, when the iris and daffodils begin reaching up with their leaves as warmer days approach, and how the deer move from the outskirts of town inward as the seasons progress. He has a wonderful sense of change and transition from spending so much time with me out in our garden, but has achieved an even greater sense of his larger surroundings since our walks began.
But out of it all, the conversations with my son and partner during this completely uninterrupted time together has been my favorite result of our new tradition. My husband and I usually leave our phones at home and this in itself provides the open space for my 5 year old to tell us snippets of his day, or just to ramble on with the random ideas that 5 year olds seem to be full of. It is this 30 minute chunk that has brought out some of his deepest fears and his greatest happinesses, and has allowed me to get to know my child in a way that I didn’t before. When I say this, it makes it sound as if I don’t listen or talk to him throughout the day, but that is not the case; rather there is something innately freeing about walking and being outside that allows a different type of conversation to occur than we experience during the inevitable hustle of our days. There is science behind this – the bilateral stimulation that occurs in the brain when walking allows us to process our emotions and thoughts in a different manner. Additionally humans are naturally calmer and better able to focus outdoors. We have experienced these benefits as a family – not only getting to know each other through our conversations, but also simply experiencing each other when we are at our best – calm, open, happy. What a gift to give our children, to end our days with the best versions of ourselves, sending them off to sleep with a feeling of calm security rather than the chaotic bustle that often predominates this time of night.
When we arrive back home, my own nervous system is calmed and I am better prepared to take on bedtime whether or not there is resistance to the process, that being said, we have noticed a far greater willingness to move through our bedtime routine from our son since starting our walking tradition. While it took a couple months for us all to adjust, getting outside and moving our bodies in the neighborhood that we call home has made us a happier, calmer family. Sometimes the greatest gifts to our children and ourselves are not grand moments, but the simple everyday habits that we create together.
What a gift to give our children, to end our days with the best versions of ourselves
